Saturday, September 24, 2011

Blow out your calories!!!!

I'm about to enter into an eating frenzy. I'm about to dive head first into shark infested waters, aka the family birthday party.  I know what I'm in for.  I know it's time to get my armor on and face the not-so-savvy-foodies.

Why do (some) people feel the need to question/judge/comment/ridicule food choices made by savvy foodies?  Maybe misery loves company? When there's a savvy foodie who doesn't join the calorie consuming party, it's like an alien just landed and it's their goal to have said alien eat like them.  Can people not just enjoy their own selection unless everyone eats the same amount of calories?   I mean can I get an AMEN?  It's completely insane to insist that others join you for a slice of ________.  Eat your own calories and play nice.

When I was a vegetarian, I needed a parachute at virtually every family gathering.  It's socially acceptable to pressure others to eat the cake/cookie/pizza, etc, just because you want it.  But yet when I wanted to say "what you need is a hot cup of shut the f*!k up", I knew I'd offend someone.  So I'd smile and say, "I'm fine, thanks". now that I know what I'm up against, what should I do?  The calories are going to be all around and quite frankly my defenses are low today.  I've been so good for so long, I'm ready to let myself off the hook, a bit.  My hubby will tell me to 'enjoy'.  Bless his sweet soul, but I can't 'enjoy' quite as much as others.  I have developed such a commitment to 'doing better' and quite frankly my arse is far more attractive as a result!  If I fail to plan, I plan to fail!

My plan:

  • Exercise before party
  • Drink a smoothie before party
  • Chew very slowly at party, so as to consume fewer calories
  • Have a plate in hand, with crumbs, so as to give the illusion that I've just finished something so party goer won't insist that I'm "not eating"
  • Have a secret stash of nuts in purse
  • Have a bit of husband's piece of cake, instead of having my own slice
  • Drink water along with cocktail throughout the party
  • BREATHE!!!
I'll report back on Monday as to the results...fingers crossed!

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