Thursday, September 29, 2011

Forgive me Father, I ate carbs

Being a savvy foodie, it is my duty to steer clear of carbs.  Carbs are the gateway food into sugar, fat and other naughty pleasures.  I try to defend the silver lining in my decision to 'splurge' but the truth is...there's no silver lining.  I never feel better.  I inevitably have eater's remorse.  I feel like I have fallen off my dang horse and I want to cry.  

 

I ask myself what the underlying reasoning might be in my decision to make a non-savvy food choice.  Is it that time of the month?  Am I upset about my hair?  Did my hubby frost my cookies?  Am I in a wedding in two weeks?  BING! BING! BING!  There's the ugly truth, I'm in a wedding...I have a dress...I ordered a size down....PRESSURE!  Fortunately, I'll be able to rely on the power of my spanx to get me through the day, I will just have to stand the whole time.  Knowledge is power!  I can pinpoint the source of my anxiety.  Now what will keep me from self sabotaging?  
I lost 15 lbs. for my own wedding last year.  I never let a carb touch my lips (because it always landed on my hips!!!) and I steered clear of other bloat causing temptations.  I looked FABULOUS (tooting my own horn...toot) for the wedding.  I was so disciplined because I knew the photos would permanently capture my jelly rolls.  I would not allow myself to say, "Yeah, I had back fat because I was lazy and didn't take the weight off in time."  PHOTOS LAST A LIFETIME!  But, the weight loss didn't last.  As soon as my hubby and I took off for our honeymoon, I never passed up a carb.  I put all the weight back on.  I felt a tremendous amount of pressure and as soon as it was all over, maddness.  

I'm in a cousin's wedding next week and it's the size of my arse I'm worried about.  I bought a dress I MUST fit into and good Lord, I feel the PRESSURE!  I was in a wedding several years ago where I nearly had to sit it out because my stupid David's Bridal dress wouldn't zip!  Two days before the wedding I found myself paying top dollar to have their alteration department let out the dress.  It was humiliating, to say the least.  



I have a great deal of empathy for bride's maids...it ain't easy.  I'm getting back up on my horse and from here on out, I'm holding myself accountable for my food choices.  This blog will keep me honest.





3 comments:

curiouslycat said...

Hey Ms. Monroe, don't feel bad. It's a lifestyle change and that takes time. Don't beat yourself up over every little meal that isn't part of the diet.
http://www.naturallyintense.net/blog/diet/feeling-guilty-for-cheating-on-your-diet-makes-matters-worse/

Hilda Burke said...

I just are a bunch of bread for lunch, it was soo good. But now I feel guilty :(

Savvy Foodie! said...

You know what...into everyone's life a little carb must fall. Last night I had vegetable rotini pasta with broccoli...I also added some fat-free Italian dressing and shredded parmesan cheese. I felt guilty about the pasta, but at least I covered it in broccoli. Honestly, it wasn't half bad.
I've tried the low carb bread, too. It's fairly decent :-)